Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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