Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Randomize
