we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Randomize
