At least make sure they are 18
Why
lets start a swedish sibling band together
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
