Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I have fence marks all over my body
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
