Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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