So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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