Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
either way he was missing a nipple.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize