whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
