yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
