I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize