So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
