Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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