I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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