listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
