Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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