you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
