you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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