shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
