He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
