ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I think your dad took our porno
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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