Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(574): View more from Indiana

New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy

(860): View more from Connecticut

enjoy the hospital

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(509): View more from Washington

I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker

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(206): View more from Washington

he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.

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(731): View more from Tennessee

He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(818): View more from California

well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning

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(425): View more from Washington

Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming

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(443): View more from Maryland

i drank out of a bidet.

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(518): View more from New York

She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.

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(313): View more from Michigan

It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.

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