Texts From Last Night

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  (716): View more from New York

  who do you think you are?

  (407): View more from Florida

  someone who doesn't ask that question

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  (716): who do you think you are? (407): someone who doesn't ask that question http://tfl.nu/uw7n
  Replies (4) Good night (3599) Bad night (1102)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.

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  (479): Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain. http://tfl.nu/si9l
  Replies (13) Good night (905) Bad night (4908)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma

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  (484): I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma http://tfl.nu/d8kr
  Replies (9) Good night (869) Bad night (3218)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.

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  (+44): he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway. http://tfl.nu/6dio
  Replies (8) Good night (2746) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.

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  (863): Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone. http://tfl.nu/onku
  Replies (3) Good night (1953) Bad night (904)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead

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  (502): Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead http://tfl.nu/4b2b
  Replies (18) Good night (5292) Bad night (1133)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.

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  (832): I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water. http://tfl.nu/tyil
  Replies (6) Good night (1476) Bad night (1211)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?

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  (949): Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween? http://tfl.nu/23ri
  Replies (8) Good night (2983) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.

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  (+44): I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring. http://tfl.nu/y78v
  Replies (8) Good night (569) Bad night (1272)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now

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  (910): She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now http://tfl.nu/y52f
  Replies (2) Good night (1147) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.

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  (228): Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me. http://tfl.nu/qpkp
  Replies (1) Good night (695) Bad night (902)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.

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  (541): Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic. http://tfl.nu/b3rt
  Replies (1) Good night (799) Bad night (428)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.

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  (301): He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home. http://tfl.nu/hk8n
  Replies (15) Good night (1528) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.

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  (937): Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you. http://tfl.nu/6dat
  Replies (3) Good night (1907) Bad night (312)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm

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  (813): He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm http://tfl.nu/b6iz
  Replies (4) Good night (568) Bad night (449)

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