Texts From Last Night

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw

  (1-612): View more from Minnesota

  strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  could be more

  (1-612): View more from Minnesota

  absolutely not

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  (612): Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw (1-612): strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing (612): could be more (1-612): absolutely not http://tfl.nu/n6ii
  Replies (19) Good night (1050) Bad night (1860)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.

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  (970): she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park. http://tfl.nu/5xdu
  Replies (11) Good night (1059) Bad night (4154)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..

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  (270): they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out.. http://tfl.nu/o5dk
  Replies (19) Good night (5747) Bad night (1371)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT

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  (832): DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT http://tfl.nu/3806
  Replies (17) Good night (4742) Bad night (1178)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip

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  (703): drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip http://tfl.nu/b5at
  Replies (12) Good night (3092) Bad night (1186)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.

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  (817): he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes. http://tfl.nu/jo0i
  Replies (7) Good night (1194) Bad night (3369)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag

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  (585): that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag http://tfl.nu/7pz9
  Replies (11) Good night (1547) Bad night (3904)
• Favorite

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."

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  (+27): She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga." http://tfl.nu/sbmz
  Replies (13) Good night (2038) Bad night (903)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...

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  (608): Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised... http://tfl.nu/yxma
  Replies (1) Good night (1163) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.

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  (413): She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list. http://tfl.nu/zy3q
  Replies (5) Good night (612) Bad night (1218)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.

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  (816): He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger. http://tfl.nu/btv5
  Replies (2) Good night (383) Bad night (779)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?

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  (406): were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong? http://tfl.nu/plyg
  Replies (17) Good night (463) Bad night (1103)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him

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  (979): I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him http://tfl.nu/6x5z
  Replies (4) Good night (630) Bad night (402)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.

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  (570): Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid. http://tfl.nu/yx4k
  Replies (1) Good night (867) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"

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  (517): He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science" http://tfl.nu/nwfg
  Replies (0) Good night (724) Bad night (366)

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