Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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