Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
