meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
