Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
