Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
