Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
