She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
What drink are we having for lunch?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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