You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
