Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
