So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
