Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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