fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize