im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
