You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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