But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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