trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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