I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
did i walk over a car last night?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
