Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
