Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
