12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Randomize
