If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i drank out of a bidet.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
