He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
