He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
