Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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