Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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