My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
