After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
