Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
