I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
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Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
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I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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