Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's shark week go big or go home
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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