I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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