Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
