Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
