My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
