bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
