that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
