how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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