doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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