Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
