talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
