I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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