is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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