He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
